Posted by: wifiguy on 05/05/2004 23:01:18

The Wi-Fi Guy tour made the drive from Los Angeles to Vegas for two things … Wi-Fi and to attend The Safe Piercing Convention.

I can’t remember which came first … my silly decision to call the rating system “X body piercings out of a 7 possible body piercings …” or the decision to attend the body piercing convention. I’m sticking with both.
The Safe Piercers told me that attendance is up this year, with more than 1,000 attendees. By my estimates, that puts the tattoos and piercings at about 24,000 or so.

Suffice to say, I felt a little out of place in the hall. I don’t have a tattoo, and I don’t own any object engraved with, shaped like, or even remotely resembling a skull. These people do.

But, I am not judging them … I just don’t understand them. And of course it isn’t necessary that I do, and they probably don’t care … Like anyone/anything unfamiliar — it is just really, really interesting. Is the lifestyle one of rebellion? Is it simply expressing one’s self? Is it art? Perhaps all of the above.

This much I know. There were some really, really nice people at the show! Certainly nicer than me! There may have been a jerk or two. Most people were outgoing and helpful … ready to talk about anything … even Wi-Fi. Some people just stared at the “inkless freak.” People are just people, no matter the colors of their skin or where they hide their jewelry.

You know, almost 20 years ago, I pierced my ear. A single piercing was fairly bold in those days and “cause for concern.” I will never forget working on the farm — back home from school for summer — when my older brother spotted the tiny gold earring. He joked, but there was an air of sincerity in his drawl, “Hey! What’s that (expletive) in your ear?”

When C I Host did the test-drive sponsorship of The Wi-Fi Guy at Sundance Film Festival a few months ago, I drove through Denver on the way to Park City, Utah. While there, I stopped in to see Al Lewis at The Denver Post. He and I worked together as reporters, years earlier. Lewis went on to be the business editor and then a columnist in Denver. (I went on to be The Wi-Fi Guy.) During the conversation at lunch, Lewis mentioned he once met some people from my small farming community, while he was working on a newspaper story.

“He’s a great guy, and we like him and all, but we just don’t know why he has that earring,” Lewis quoted.

I guess it is all relative.

Last night I dreamed my brother Keith accompanied me at the convention. In the dream, he drove. I blogged. (You know you’re working too much when you start dreaming about it …)

Anyway, I enjoyed the show. I tried to admire and to observe without staring. I’m sure I was only partly successful. There was plenty to see: piercings just about everywhere, lots of dreadlocks (which I really like by the way in an envious kind of way), tattoos, scarred skin cuttings, implants, lobe stretching, nose bones, and built in metal Mohawks. I think those are called transthermals, and I’ll bet they enhance FM reception, Wi-Fi and some things I’d rather not even think about. I was surprised that I didn’t see any branding … the red hot poker variety …

But, the best oddity … The Electronic Sideshow … a table top exhibit of strange collectibles. It is pretty hard to beat a stuffed, two-headed baby chick or twin, two-headed lizards, with multiple tails.

So what about the Wi-Fi? At the show, there was one network and it was encrypted.

That’s a bone I want to pick with all Las Vegas shows. I attended four or five trade shows in the last eight months … electronics, computers, photo … alterations … whatever. The Wi-Fi has been seriously lacking.

I had to go to the old standby … Starbucks in Vegas … and yes, they were playing Nina Simone … again … (for those of you who have read my ranting before).

In Starbucks, I had a chance to visit briefly with one of the convention attendees. She was a perfectly charming, young, attractive woman … who just happened to have about 12 inches of scars, in the shape of flowers, on her lower back. An aesthetic, adorning scar, created with a surgical scalpel. In her words, there is perhaps “a different take on pain.”

My pain: Where’s the Wi-Fi?

This is “trade show capital of the universe.” Each year, there are probably more journalists visiting Vegas than any other city. Many of the shows are technical in nature … but I have seen journalists stuck at dialups, or forced to send e-mail from hotel kiosks. What’s up with that?

To Vegas, for Wi-Fi, I would have awarded 3 body piercings on a scale of 7.

But thanks to the colorful tribe at the Safe Piercing Convention: 16 body piercings on a scale of 7 body piercings. Thanks for letting me attend.

Stay tuned!