I won’t lie. There was no Christmas joy when I learned I would be working at the Dirty Gig, the day before the day before Christmas. But dirty is as dirty does … or it is what it is or whatever.

It got better.

After a short day on the job, I “rushed” (over the Brooklyn Bridge and through The Holland Tunnel) from Coney Island to my hotel in New Jersey’s Meadowlands. Upon entering the hotel, I noticed a flurry of activity in the lobby. Ah yes, fans were gathering for the NFL game just across the highway at the MetLife Stadium … home of da Giants and da Jets … and Bon Jovi.

MetLife

 

More activity around the corner near the Link@Sheraton — the hotel’s take on a built in Starbucks with a gigantic Wi-Fi hotspot throughout the lobby. There was a table and several computers set up by StubHub … the events ticketing people. Curious type that I am, I inquired.

 

 

The Link@Sheraton … it’s been a long time coming, but perfect.  Great, large seating area, fast Wi-Fi … hassle free.  Perfect, I say  — 7 of 7 on our Kris Kringle, PingBling Jingle Jingle meter.

 

Back to StubHub … tickets were available — good seats — to this the last, insignificant, home game of the Jets’ season. But there was an interesting plot brewing. Mark Sanchez was definitely benched after filling the other team’s stockings with interceptions the week before. Greg McElroy, a Texas product was slated as the starting QB for The Jets … and of course being a fan of the righteous underdogs of the world … I had visions of Tebo dancing in the end zone too … (Do you get a mental image of him kneeling and praying after a score, with the mere mention of his name?)

 

OH … another important note. As a child, I was a huge Joe Namath/Jets fan after The Cowboys kicked out one of the best running backs ever … Duane Thomas (West Texas State, y’all) … I digress … I mean c’mon Joe Namath not only talked trash/predicted one of the hugest upsets in Super Bowl history, he walked the talk and won the best Super Bowl of all time … period. So you see, there were all kinds of reasons to check this out.

 

Fifteen minutes later, computer generated StubHub ticket in hand, I was in a black Suburban on the way to the game. Get this … FIVE BUCKS only, courtesy of The Sheraton and I was dropped of at The Met, just five minutes later … walking to my seat. What seat? Well, I didn’t even try to get media credentials for such a last-minute, spontaneous blogging stunt. However, I snatched up seats on Row 1 at the 5 yard line. Red Zone at Christmas Baby! To my chagrin, there was no sideline sighting of Broadway Joe — sober or otherwise — but I had a “ringside” seat for everything else.

 

Well … the thing about a Red Zone seat is you are usually guaranteed some pretty good action, at least 25 percent of the time … unless … you have a couple of right-handed quarterbacks and you are sitting at stage left. Most of the day’s biggest plays went away from me — across the field at the opposite hashtag … er hash mark. So, it was a good chance to check out a longer Nikon lens I brought back from Thailand for Christmas last year. I mean … it is longer, but not one of the big birdwatcher/National Geographic-type lenses like the shooters on the sideline … but more range than just standard equipment. I fired away …

 

 

Oh … speaking of birdwatcher … I was like an obsesses fan leaning over the rail to get some shots of Texas Tech’s star linebacker, playing for the opposing Chargers … Bront Bird … a Midland/Odessa product by way of Red Raiderland. Ha … heard guys on ESPN a couple of weeks back joking that BB from TT has the perfect nomenclature for a World Wrestling Federation star. They failed to mention that he and yours truly, two “products of The Mike Leach System” a.k.a. Texas Tech, had the longest hair in the stadium yesterday. I digress …

 

You can bet that when I wasn’t shooting, I was tweeting and texting … but the Wi-Fi in #MLS was a no-show … like a few thousand of the Jets ticketholders. Two Wi-Fi networks popped up on myPhone — MLS Open and MLS Guest — but neither one would let me in coach.

 

Wi-Fi is always on our Christmas list … great experience, but MetLife your Wi-Fi administrator has been bad this year – 2 pings.

 

In addition to the lackluster Wi-Fi performance, the game was pretty mediocre. Nevertheless, the experience for me was totally awesome … but the 27-17 Charger win/Jet loss meant little to the home team … and it showed.

 

While I was not blown away by the Wi-Fi in what is, in actuality the “House of Eli,” I am impressed with the functionality and user experience at The Jets Web site:

 

 

The Jets

 

Ha … One of the highlights was a Jets wide receiver dancing (a Samba I believe) in the huddle when the MetLife sound system blasted Jose Feliciano’s classic “Feliz Navidad.” I couldn’t help but think, why didn’t The Jets play Tebo, #15, for such a great storyline … he could fire up anyone. Probably would have cracked some heads together in the huddle too …

 

 

But, instead, McElroy, #14, no slouch, got the nod and more power to him. Man! He seemed to be eyeing a record for sacks (11), hurried throws, bruises, horse-collar/flips and what have you all day. Welcome to the painful lifestyle of an NFL non-contender. McElroy, by way of Alabama, another Texas product … from the storied Southlake Carroll Dragons program I believe … so he looked quite at home in Jets green. And Hello … the greatest QB ever, “Broadway Joe,” #12, was also Crimson Tide …Roll Tide. (McElroy was not the engineer of Alabama’s come-from-behind ugly-ugly field goal-win over Texas Tech in The Cotton Bowl a few years back …) Oh … it was good to wear a Texas Tech t-shirt proudly in public again … but that’s another story … Bront … did you see me flashing the secret handshake, guns up from Lubbock, all throughout the game? LOL.

 

On the opposite side of the ball, Bird was looking pretty much at home in the Chargers defense, as well as playing lots of downs on special teams. Man … he has pumped up since college, although he was never small.

 

Other Texas notes — TCU’s Jeremy Kerley, #18, caught our camera’s eye on a punt fair catch … one of the few plays within our reach. And Abilene Christian’s Clyde Gates, #19, made a nice catch … on the opposite side of the field darn it! We also had a nice view of #84, Danario Alexander ‘s catch for a Charger TD.

 

 

 

Interesting … McElroy played good, despite little help from his offensive line … but of course there were chants of “Tebo, Tebo, Tebo” throughout the game. I won’t harp on this long … but how can you NOT like TTebo!?! There ain’t no quit in that boy … OH yes, I remember, lots of people/media hate him because he is moral in a corrupt world. Enough said.

 

And, on the topic of cheers … this was tre interesting. The New York Jets cheerleaders also just happened to be positioned exactly at the 5-yard-line in front of our camera lens. Holy focal point, Batman.  Weird. They don’t say anything … except for the leader of each squad counting out the numbers or beats for their choreography. Keep in mind, we come from Big D, the land of God’s/America’s team … the place that invented NFL cheerleading squads and big hair for that matter. Do The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders say nothing? Ha … our research department has no idea … but we can tell you this — when the Cowgals take the field or sideline, you can bet there is always music for dance. The JetGirls — they are actually called The Flight Crew … pretty clever — danced to the sound of silence. So strange. While, I’ll admit they are beautiful and all … they couldn’t hold a candle to the almost military precision of the girls in blue and white, back home.

 

 

So … in lieu of many big plays in our neck of the woods … what else could we do? We clicked away. Thanks ladies.

 

 

 

 

Oh … and what NY sporting event would be complete without funny hecklers? They of course sound like they have the most thick borough-of-your-choice New York accents imaginable … and they mix slight humor with bawdy language … an integral part of the experience. Ha … the best heckler in the crowd was merciless but so predictable … Calling his Jets players by first name, convincing me that he must have had a personal relationship with each and every player:) … Calling Chargers QB Philip Rivers, #17, a crybaby at every opportunity … objecting to the most obviously correct calls by the officials … saying “You Bum” and “C’mon Man” incessantly … you get the picture … But he was at his best when another fan of the cheerleaders stood in the stairwell for 10-minutes, videoing the silent cheer team with his iPhone … shooting until security escorted him away …. as the heckler had a field day. “She loves you too! She is obsessed with you. It’s not stalking, its love …” and on and on.

 

 

And, for this New York game, there was a totally new phenom. I witnessed my first cheerleader heckler. Late in the game an odd little couple sat next to me … inadvertenly starting a chain reaction in the section. Someone had their seats. Those people had to move. Someone had their seats. Those people had to move. Someone had their seats. Those people had to move … and on and on it went until we had reseated the entire section 143 or whatever it was …. I digress.

 

The woman of the couple was wearing an oversized jersey of “crybaby” Philip Rivers, a white Chargers jersey — which I happen to like with the lightning bolt motif. Her proud to-be-with-her, equally curmudgeon-like male counterpart was dressed in some green Jets jersey. I swear they ate $200 worth of stadium junk food, in the one half of the game they attended … which as you will recall caused the second-half reseating of half of New York, as I described.

 

 

 

Ha … but what a weird, funny little, angry elf she was. A pair made in Heaven. Every time someone had to pass by for a bio-break, or food, or whatever people do when they leave their stadium seats … the little woman would grumble, under her breath … “Jerk” … or actually a more prurient, two-syllable derivative of the term. And as the second half progressed, for whatever reason — probably because God had not blessed her with the same outer beauty as that she had stored within — she became more and more disgruntled and irritated with the Jets non-cheering squad. Why? I mean it is not like they were making any noise. Ha … how dare they look hot! Oh she was hateful … and her partner nodded agreement, not taking his eyes off of them. So funny.

 

 

Well … I for one say thank you to the cheerleaders. Ha … they performed the closest thing to the Tebo kneel down all day. Each time Philip Rivers or Greg McElroy, or whoever was laid out on the field … the cheerleaders would kneel on one knee, with the other leg awkwardly cocked out to the side. That had to hurt. Ha … they really were happy when the injured play got up … so they could jump up and let the feeling return to their own limbs.

 

Sadly, our man Tebo didn’t play a single down.  Even when the Jets ran plays from a Wildcat formation, number #15 was not called.

 

All in all? A great little holiday treat … a totally relaxing, non-significant NFL game … but in a new environment. Oh the people watching …

 

 

 

 

And when the game was over, I looked for about 30 seconds before I spotted the Sheraton’s town car … hopped in and was ushered away. Never, never had a quick getaway like that at a Dallas event. As an additional Christmas gift, I shared the ride with a nice young couple who work for the Parks Department … a Jets fan and a Patriots (Wes Welker) fan … and got a new follower on Twitter — an archaeologist no less — out of the deal. I call that a bargain.

 

Know what I sayin?