I am having coffee on the balc, as I do every morning of course … a rich blend of coffee, Wi-Fi … and some good tunes on my Flaming Lips Pandora channel.  (I get frustrated when Pandora plays some Beck song or The Smashing Pumpkins … you know … some song I just hate … but I am giving them a second chance.  Kudos for mixing in lots of Beatles and White Stripes, Band of Horses though … Got any Sparklehorse? I digress …)

Anywho …

Hey do you make coffee in a French press?

If so, have you ever experienced coffee ground meltdown … er … maybe I should say “ground zero?”  Twice, but only twice — so I think it is really rare — my coffee has exploded.  I think it is kinetic energy or perhaps a chemical reaction.  Here’s how it happens.

First I put the glass container of the coffee press, filled with water, into the microwave to heat the water.  Duh!  After three minutes or so, I pull the vessel out and shovel in three tablespoons of ground coffee.  Typically, nothing happens … except the aroma of Columbian goodness compliments of Starbucks.

But twice now, this procedure or ritual, if you will, has simulated a little atomic explosion at the “Bikini Atoll” that is my kitchen counter.  As soon as the spoon of coffee hits the hot water, the water bubbles up violently and shoots out of the container, overflowing all over the cabinet and floor.

I have two theories.  One is that the water temperature was just below the boiling point, but hadn’t actually bubbled yet to release all that energy that was stored in the hot water molecules, and the coffee somehow caused the release of all that kinetic energy … if I am using KE correctly.

(Crap!  I looked it up and it is just thermal energy … But kinetic sounds so much more sexy kinda intellectual … I think I will just leave it … I mean, come on … say it: “Kinetic.”  It just sounds good … )

The second theory is that in my cleaning of the glass, I may have not rinsed well and left some trace of the detergent or whatever … and therefore caused this caffeine ground zero thing, CGZ, by making two unfriendly chemical compounds play in the same sandbox, so to speak.

Double crap!  This would have been the perfect, completely out-of-the-blue type of question for the most brilliant mind in football, mad scientist, pirate Mike Leach.  I was scheduled to interview him last week, but to my chagrin, the gig was cancelled.  (I did talk to Coach on the phone, and although he was rushed, nice guy …)  I mean, Leach has done the weather on TV in Lubbock of all things … analyzing his favorite South Plains atmospheric condition, when the rain mixes with blowing sand, and it rains mud … Surely, with that experience he could unravel the chemical mystery of this spewing brew.  If we talk again … I’ll just ask him.

Ha … check out the video … Mike Leach also does some coffee experimentation of his own … ridding the world of ants — one colony at a time.

I digress … but who don’t love some Mike Leach commentary … on ANYTHING!?!

What do you think?  Regardless, I am getting tired of cleaning up the mess … and who likes to see wasted coffee?

Know what I sayin?