There may be better ways to soak up the New England history and culture, but it was cold at 6 a.m., the roads were more like tunnels through the plowed snow … and the only thing I found open was Dunkin Donuts.

I’ll bite.

Afterall, I have been raving that DD should have Wi-Fi since i started blogging on the topic in 2004. If you haven’t been in a DD lately, they are pretty much totally remade — vibrant, colorful, expanded … with cool artwork that depicts male pattern-baldness in the American workplace.  How cool is that?

So … how much have they really changed?  “Let’s take their temperature.”  After a little probing, i detected several Wi-FI hotspots at the DD here on the corner of Sudbury and something in Concord, Ma.

But first … how about some holed-sustenance.  No caffeine for me today … I have to attempt to sleep most of the day today and do an all nighter on the Dirty Gig in Boston.  (We are gutting a flooded high rise …)  Have you ever tried to order a donut without coffee?  Talk about willpower, but somehow I did it. Ha also on the menu .. did you know DD has breakfast sandwiches and hashbrowns?  Me neither.   As if turning down coffee at DD isn’t strange enough … LOL … try asking for catsup.  It just ain’t right.

Of course I had to get a donut, so I fired one of my trademark questions to the staff. “What is your best?”  They replied with that analogy about how can you love one of your children the most … Cop out!  Then one young donut ambassador stepped up to the plate and suggested the Reverse Boston Creme.  OMG … TDF… ETC.  The Reverse … or Paul Revere Boston Creme as I will call it since it is my blog, is the opposite of a Boston Creme.  This highly revered pastry is filled with chocolate … Nice, and low in cals., I am sure.

Anyway, since this young DDer was so outgoing, I fired off a few more questions, if for no other reason than my own amusement.

“So, how about this whole Thoreau, Walden Pond thing?  What do you think?  Is there much to see out there in the snow?”

A look of complete bewilderment covers her face as she says, “Well I have heard of it.”

Again I press, “Is there much to see out there?”

“Well, I think there is a dump out there.  I asked the snowplow driver where they put all the snow, and he said they dump it out by Walden Pond.”

Thank you for that transcendental moment.

Okay, I think to myself, “Let’s try sports.”

Being a grad of Texas Tech University and of course a loyal fan of former Coach Mike Leach and all he did for the university, I think to ask this young woman about Texas Tech’s most famous son … who just happens to play for The New England Patriots.

“So … I am just curious.  Do you know who Wes Welker is?”

She really thought about this one, and smiled, thinking maybe she should know … but alas …

I told her he plays for the Pats.

“Awww … does he play like linebacker?”

“Like no. He doesn’t play like a linebacker.”

“Oh, oh … does he play like over on the side, sort of?”

“Hmmm … it depends.”

So, feeling generous, I offer up a good clue.

“Well, I’ll help you … he is not Tom Brady.”

“I knew it!,” she exclaimed triumphantly.

Ok … new category … Giving her the benefit of a doubt, I ask if this DD has Wi-Fi.  Perhaps, not wanting to disappoint any more on this frosty morning she says, “Yes!’ … coincidentally this the anniversary of poet Robert Frost’s birthday … I digress …

Well, she was correct.  This donut place does have Wi-Fi, but for me, it is about as useless as the center space in the donut.  The network is up, and oh yes, it is mighty.  Yet, it is locked for the casual customer or Wi-Fi nerd such as myself.  What is up with that?

Giving my new friend the benefit of a doubt, I thought she had just forgotten to give me the code, much like she had forgotten that Thoreau was an author and Welker a stud.

No luck.  The young kid in the back, rolling dough or whatever he do, finally overcame his shyness — Wi-Fi and all things geek seemingly within his comfort zone — and said the Wi-Fi was not offered yet.  Ah … the private stock for management only thing I suspect.

Not to worry, T-Mobile thought ahead and supplied an air stick from our friends at Huawei so that I can blog … even from places that are not sharin and carin, when it comes to Wi-Fi.

Therefore, on this now sunshiny Saturday morning, albeit snow covered, I must say my DD experience was less than stellar.

Gotta luv the makeover at DD.  I’ll stick with the more traditional Boston Creme donuts … and give me Wi-Fi or give me, well you know … a lowly 2 pings.

Know what I sayin?