“This just in … Michael Jackson flung the casket open, hopped on top, did a backward flip to the floor and moonwalked across the stage to launch his new worldwide comeback tour … obviously the greatest publicity stunt in like forever, man.”
That’s why he is called The King (of Pop) …
Made ya look!
Ha … wouldn’t that have been crazy. I mean … it worked for New Coke and Coca Cola Classic …
There have been many jokes and tongue-in-cheek quips on the Internet about Michael rising from the dead and being seated at the right hand of our other new king of pop culture. But alas … Jacko is gone. He is still dead.
What an interesting turn of events … the autopsies (as if one were not enough) … the mystery medications in the mansion … the child custody drama … the will … etc., etc.
And just when we thought the street theater couldn’t get any better, along comes the other king … the king of “pop this crazy bubble” … this Peter King, congressman from New York who asked for a reality check.
In so many words, Peter King said Michael Jackson was the king of pedophilia.
Wow … doesn’t mince words does he?
Oh how I would like to believe none of those dark, dark accusations against MJ were true. I mean … could it be that a 50 year-old-man who hangs with pre-pubescent boys is on the up-and-up — just a kindred soul? Ha … that scenario might be even more strange than our worse fears realized.
And what about the entertainment world, who showed up en masse as if to honor the passing of a saint! I guess they are a forgiving lot, and tend not to cast the first stone … but they will don a single glove at the drop of a hat.
Then there is the matter of the hottest funeral tickets in town. How many thousands of dollars were tickets going for? Just for argument’s sake, what if the entire thing had been a ruse? Would that make the ticket a better investment … or would the cost be most justified if it was in fact for the very last MJ sighting? I ponder …
So anyway, confession: I didn’t watch the memorial and probably wouldn’t have even if I had remembered it. Tell me if I missed anything good.
Oh last question: Was Donny Osmond — the former teenage hearthrob, teen idol rival of Michael Jackson — in attendance?
Remember when those little guys were battling it out in their teens. Donny would swoon “Go Away Little Girl” and then Michael would launch a counter assault with “If they had a friend like Ben” … Heady times.
Know what I sayin?
