Dudes With No Degrees Take Journalism Grad To The Turf

May 20th, 2009 · Tags:Cities · Satire · Sports · Wi-Fi

Both of my readers may have noticed that the blog posts are few/far between lately. My bad! I am supplementing the blog with more “Dirty Jobs” type work.

Man, sometimes I think it may have been easier if I had chosen “Shark Week” rather than Dirty Jobs in order to emulate a TV phenom. This week, I am involved in the demolition of a sports facility … which led to me trying my hand at steel working.

Try my hand … ha … bout took the thing off two days ago. Nobody’s fault, but I got my thumb caught between a hard place … and well … another hard place. It was like an iron-fortified Ping finger sandwich.
OUCH! (Although I had other choice words at the time.)

Warning: Expect more typos than usual …

But, pain aside — and yes, that is going to leave a mark — there is something gratifying about laboring all day in the Texas sun.

No doubt, I look stylish in my hard hat, which has only saved my hairline about 30 times in my daily head-bump mishaps.

And talk about a killer “farmer’s tan!” Ironically, it is my first even though I spent the first 18 years on a farm tractor.

Best of all … I am meeting some really interesting characters from several states. It is amazing to see these big burly dudes operate heavy machinery with perfection … chicks too. Slightly less than perfect, I operated a Bobcat today. It is sort of a cross between a small army tank, a recreational vehicle and a huge can opener. It will run over, load, and rip apart just about anything.

Hard work yes … but I am sort of enjoying this.

Ha … today, in addition to metal worker and Bobcatter, I added fire watcher to my resume. My job, part of the day, was to keep an eye toward the sky, focused on the hot molten slag dripping from pipes, while another dude cut them with a blow torch as he dangled inside a basket 100 feet in the air.

Here’s some good trivia.  Did you know that artificial turf on football fields will burn?

Well it do … unless I am on the job with my trusty fire extinguisher.

In addition to rescuing the turf from flames, we also were ripping up strips of the evergreen shag. My buddy and I perfected a new method to remove artificial turf from a football field, using a razor sharp carpet knife and the same sort of tugging motion used during uncomfortable wedgies. We are considering patenting the technique … since we are convinced their must be lots of artificial playing surfaces that need to be ripped to shreds.

It could happen.

Last dirty thoughts … it is great fun to stop and converse with the various engineers, risk managers, project managers and other professionals on the job site. Little do they know they are dealing with a college grad … who just happens to be picking up mashed plastic bottles for pay at the time.

Equally enjoyable … It is so refreshing to watch highly educated professionals graciously learn from the skilled craftsmen, who have basic educations, years of experience and much wisdom.

No Wi-Fi finding to report today. But … I am getting paid for a very stringent work out.

Know what I sayin?