At the risk of being labeled subversive or put on a blacklist by the current administration, I am writing about one of the most American of America’s pastimes — baseball.

I am sure such a wholesome activity is deemed unacceptable among the current socialist inner circle in Washington … but so be it.

Typically I rant and rave about quality Wi-Fi. Today I am branching out because last night I saw something that I will never witness again … something very American — high performance and rewards!

The word uncanny maybe overused. Not in this case.

Uncanny!

At a high school baseball game in Fort Worth Texas, a senior first baseman hit not one, but FIVE home runs in one game.

(Side note to my alma mater: this kid’s father is a Texas Tech alum … are you scouting him?)

Back to the game …

Typically, I spend more time shelling sunflowers seeds than I do tracking statistics, but last night was different. Check this out.

JB, we’ll call him, hit his first homer in the first inning, with no one on base.

His second homer was in the same inning, after his team batted around.

STAT ONE: Two homers in the same inning. (Yes, smart a.., that is more homeruns than I hit in my career.)

STAT TWO: Although second-stringers played much of the game (“calling off the dogs,”) JB’s team won 33-0.

STAT THREE: Five bucks. I heard that is what the people in the neighborhood were trying to charge, when friends and family members tried to retrieve the “keeper” baseballs that JB sent soaring over the fence.

STAT FOUR: 2-for-3 … ha … that is my son’s record at the plate last night … I mean!

STAT FIVE: 19 hits in the game, by JB’s team.

STAT SIX: 1 F-bomb. JB’s team was visiting another school. The kid in the pressbox played a questionable rap song, before most of the fans arrive. The home team administrators asked that he change the music on the PA system. I concurred.

STAT SEVEN: Homers JB hit with one man on base — 1.

STAT EIGHT: Homers JB hit with two men on base — 2

STAT NINE: Homers JB hit with three men on base (grand slam) — 1, during his final at bat.

So, JB was the second batter in the game. He started with a solo shot and then the last time he “went yard” the bases were loaded for a grand slam!

Okay sports fans, have you ever heard of someone hitting home runs “for the cycle” in a single game?

STAT TEN: Number of times I will ever see such a spectacle — homers by one batter with every possible base runner combination on board — once in a life time!

FINAL STAT: 13!  JB’s total RBIs proved to be bad luck for the other team.

Congrats JB, Z, MG, A, ML, DS and the entire team!

Know what I sayin?