Don’t get me wrong.  Don’t be all hatin.

Any president of the United States is my president.  I wish him/her well and will be supportive in most circumstances.  Will I poke fun? Bet your arse!  Thank goodness,  I am encouraged that already common sense, economic necessity and better decisions are overruling the seductive campaign promises and rhetoric of the last year.

However …

I merely accept the impending inauguration … I won’t celebrate it and have instead chosen to hang out with “real rock stars” at Sundance.  (What is the old saying?, “Politics is show business for ugly people.” Well, I don’t know about that …) After all, my time is valuable.

I digress …

The reality is, everyone can’t jet off to Sundance or ride the rails to DC.  And don’t forget 46 percent of Americans voted against this new conformity that has swept our nation … Therefore, I thought, “Why not make a list of alternatives for those who are not awestruck by the emperor’s new clothing debut in DC?“.

So here we go.

“What are the top alternatives to the January 20 Presidential Inauguration — to make better use of your time?”

(First the alternative activities that seemed rather puckish, but just didn’t quite make the list. I will Twitter these too…)

Honorable mentions:

• Lure geese away from major airports, using an ultralight craft and make wild goose documentary
• Consider gastric bypass surgery as more enjoyable event, and a better redistribution of wealth
• Buy up all .com addresses with the word “hope” in the URL
• List suggestions for a better first name for the President-elect
• Write clever haiku incorporating words Obama and Omaha
• Actually consider learning the correct spelling of Baraque …
• Pray that inaugural draws crowds away from Sundance ticket lines
• List words that rhyme with Barack
• Come up with more suitable abbrev. for BO, for limited word count on Twitter
• Devise plan to satire BO without being blackballed by conformists on Web
• Watch as Israel assumes world position as “Baddest On Block”
• Rethink acquisition of Hawaii … and Arkansas for that matter
• Google BBC — Barack birth certificate
• Listen for collective sigh of relief among terrorist/extremists worldwide

But that group didn’t make the cut for whatever reason.  These did.  Count em off:

#10 Set up 1-900 number for profit, to accept best iPhone photos of inaugural event

#9 Practice unnatural upticks at ends of sentences, to speak like new regime

# 8 Redistribute methane, send it NASA’s way

#7 Change message on global warming t-shirts, for unseasonably cold winter

#6  Follow Blagojovech on Twitter

#5 Visit “W” in Dallas, discuss “rude awakening” phenom for next new president

#4 Check out what in the heck Letterman will use for his new material

#3 Pray for the return of Seinfeld and/or some semblance of sanity in our country

#2 Ponder the expression “safe sex”

#1  Eat humble pie about election results from porcelain, collectible, Obama commemorative plate purchased on QVC

Know what I sayin?