Ping, Scott Man
Sometimes when I write one of my so-called “blogs about nothing,” I feel a remote kinship with the master of nothing, Jerry Seinfeld. But the other day I felt like Jerry’s sidekick … no, not George or Kramer or Elaine either (“not that there’s anything wrong with it”).
I mean Jerry’s sidekicks on the newest Seinfeld classic, “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee.” Have youse seen it? Each episode features Seinfeld driving and describing a classic auto, as he picks up some other wiseacre for coffee. The show features fairly candid, freeform conversation with notable comic geniuseseses ranging from Mel Brooks to Ricky Gervais to Sarah Silverman to Jay Leno to Tina Fey. My favorite? Chris Rock and the episode called “Kids Need Bullying!” I am right there with you Chris … toughen them up. BTW, I am on record as advocating a Boy Scout merit badge created for bullying … but we all know which way the liberal nazis have taken the Boy Scouts. Oh wait … the liberal nazis have also recently attacked Seinfeld over the Soup Nazi character’s name from the sitcom classic … so I am not supposed to say nazi … good grief … I digress …
Seinfeld 2.0 is on HBO — Comedians In Cars
OH … newsflash … just this morning Seinfeld and his car show were in the news. Jerry sold a vintage, supposedly authentic Porsche to someone — a car that had been featured on the show — but the new owner had the car examined and it was found to be largely rebuilt – not original. (Seinfeld was not the first owner, and had been duped when he bought it too.)
I forgot what I was I was saying … Oh yes … So I felt like Jerry’s designated rider the other day, because my buddy picked me up at Starbucks in at $250,000 McLaren 570S Spider. Ha … So it was kinda like “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” … but, funny thing about it is … neither Scott nor I are that funny … but of course we both insist that we are. (No really we are.) So this plot was more like “Bloggers In Cars Getting Coffee”🙂
Scott Nishimura, the business editor and blogger for Fort Worth Magazine will now forever be referred to as “my driver.” “Driving Mr. Ping” … has a ring don’t you think? Maybe we will beat out Spike Lee for an Oscar some day … (Google Spike Lee’s Oscar rant if you don’t “know what I sayin” …) Anyway … Scott was zipping around town in the car for a few days, to write an automotive review. And, he was kind enough to ping me and invite me for a spin. Ping it forward, so to speak. Sadly only Scott had coffee … and a banana which was interesting as we shook hands … just before the ride. Hey … Professional race drivers have to keep those potassium levels revved up, right?
Bloggers In Need Of Speed … And Coffee
“Scott Man” as I always call him, and I go back at least 20 years. He is one of the first — and among the best — journalist contacts I’ve ever had … We have worked together on numerous projects and clients, perhaps most notably … Scott and The Fort Worth Star-Telegram and some others (Sandra Baker, Jim Fuqua) helped arrange business news coverage for one of my former clients — a company called Disaster Recovery Services (DRS). Ha … the newspaper even sent someone to the my client’s ground breaking for a new warehouse. (That’s kind of rare at a major newspaper, as news items go …)
Flash forward a couple of decades. That client — DRS — is no more, per se. The Fort Worth company was bought out by a global leader in the disaster industry … and so now the circle is complete … When I mention “Dirty Gig” on this blog, it is in reference to my employer … the bigger company that purchased DRS. Cool twist, huh?
Things have changed greatly in the disaster business and in journalism since those days … Now Scott and I both are bloggers, although he is also a “legitimate” journalist who still sees his stories in print, in addition to the online versions.
Thus … We are now “Bloggers In Cars Getting Coffee.” We both chuckled at that … and I need to see if it made it’s way into Scott’s blog as well. Ha … when “Comedians In Cars” first came up in conversation, I shot a little video on my phone and said, “Raise your hand if you have seen ‘Comedians In Cars’ …” Of course we both love the show and we raised our hands, cruising in the tight McClaren cockpit … resulting in me breaking three fingers on the roof and Scott losing control of the vehicle and rolling the car 7-8 times. Well … not really. I lied about that part … (See, that is the weak game I bring to the comedy thing.)
We of course did not upend nor top out the car on the Chisholm Parkway, but we were moving at a fair clip when a big Chevy Pickup truck passed us. What?!? I am guessing that the man driving was not tall … and that it might have been the greatest moment of his Chevy-driven life to pass a McLaren … I bet he is blogging about it now. Scott and I discussed the truck at length. Scott: “Wonder what it’s like inside a big Chevy truck going that fast? My Ford would be dropping parts all over the road.” Always the PR guy, I replied that the jettisoned parts would increase the gas mileage. The two of us decided the Chevy ride at such speeds would probably be somewhere between a hayride on a flat trailer and a mechanical bull … at least compared to the “how-low-can-you-go-to-the-ground” McLaren.
In the ultra-efficient styling of the McClaren there was barely enough head room for me to sit upright, much less to raise a hand. But Scott was kind and he added, “This car looks good on you Kent.” At which time I replied, “You don’t think it makes me look fat?” Ha … we debated whether or not I was going to be able to peel myself out of the car at the end of the ride. No doubt, I didn’t want to get out. But I did, thanks to those cool butterfly doors. For me, Scott didn’t open the top. I think he was trying to help me retain whatever hair is left … or maybe rub it in. Scott … you better play nice when you have “chemo boy” riding shotgun in the tight McLaren. You never know what things might be passed … other than Chevy’s and cattle near the road. I digest …
In all seriousness, this McModel is intended for daily driving — for the person who wants to commute in traffic hell, driving a 6-figure car. But what fun. The McLaren 570S Spider has three modes for the transmission — auto, manual and racing … all three modes, the automatic tranny does the auto shifting, but the RPMs differ substantially before the car hits the next gear in each automatic mode. It also has some great Texas Tech red seatbelts to complement the black-leather interior. Zero to 60 in under 3 seconds and tops out at 205 m.p.h. … did I mention that? It’s British made too, like my Triumph Thunderbird … What is it with my “need for speed” (Sammy Hagar reference) — but “All dressed up, just like a Union Jack?” (Stones reference)
Another friend asked why we didn’t emulate “Carpool Karaoke.” Well, I respond with this little conundrum. “If you think I ain’t funny, you should hear me sing.”
Earlier, Scott and the mcloaner picked me up at Fort Worth’s swank new The Shops At Clearfork mixed use development, so my fingers on the keyboard want to type McClearan … which is totally freaking out the auto-correct function … I digress …
The drive went by pretty fast, as did the cows on the side of the road. Wow … the whole things was just so cool, and since I had a couple of weeks to plan things in advance, I too wanted to get a little mileage out of this joy ride. Ping it forward right? Well, it so happens that the two sons of my best friends are totally gaga over high-performance race cars, and they play video driver simulation games … like every day. And one of the boys had just celebrated a birthday …
“Hmmm … I wonder if they would like a ride in a McLaren?”
Happy McLaren Day!
Big Bro!
Scott agreed it sounded like a fun idea to surprise the two pre-teens, wannabedrivers. So I arranged for the young men to be at Starbucks as I was dropped off there after my test ride, mums the word. But drats, the boys were just a little behind schedule, so Scott and I waited in the car … hoping that I could make an entrance, let the boys freak out over the car, and then nonchalantly say something like “It ain’t nuthin but a thang … want a ride, birthday boy?”
Well … the two young men spotted the car as they first drove by and went nuts. But they had to park a block away. (Clearfork was kind enough to put out orange safety cones and reserved “rock star parking” out front for the McLaren … btw.) I was told that the boys — around the corner — literally ran down the sidewalk, shouting that they had seen a McLaren … to “Hurry … hurry before it drives away!” So it was working … At that point the boys didn’t know the car was carrying the two bloggers. Ha … as they got close to the vehicle, one of them said … “Hey! Is that Kent in the car? What’s Kent doing in a McLaren!?!” (Correct answer: Well … he’s telling bad jokes … I digress …) The boys ran up to the car, and I stalled for a second letting them hyperventilate a little bit in the back of their lungs, and then I sprung the invitation on them.
Thank you Scott Nishimura. Both Asher and Grayson got some quality time in the car … about 20 minutes. I was told later that they both said, “It was the best day of my life.”
Score!
Bloggers In Cars Getting Coffee … and making a memory for two future acceleration junkies … priceless … Perfect score! Rev on the red line with 7 Pings!
Know what I sayin?
