Well, it took exactly one and only one ocean wave to rip off my sunglasses — even though they were “tied on” my head with a brand new, Lifeguard-red croakie strap.  Ha … That’s a good look!

“Aye, the ocean she is angry and she has taken me rose colored spectacles to the deep, to make them her own … aye.”

So, I body surfed a little longer, squinting … and then set out upon my mission at South Padre Island, Texas.  The music festival was over … time to focus — on Wi-Fi.

First stop — my hotel.  The Copa is a decent size, 4-story hotel, moderately priced, with a board walk running the 30-40 yards to the beach.  And, they had spruced up the place, knowing that the PingWi-Fi entourage was coming … or you’d think.  Actually, the hotel was undergoing renovations.  It has new carpet, new decorative wall papers, cool bronze mermaid sculptures and paintings on the wall … No wait … I meant to say there was wet paint.  Seriously, the paint in my room was yet-to-dry.  And what do you do when you smell wet paint?  That’s right, you touch it to see if it is really wet … and then you scrub your hand trying to remove the paint before you go back to the keyboard … I digress.

So anyway, The Copa was shall we say, copasetic, but nothing fancy.  Now here is where I was surprised, if not impressed.  The first time my HP laptop went a knocking, the hotel Wi-Fi greeted it with open arms.  The signal was strong and a splash page opened up immediately.  AH … Best Western.  Why didn’t you say so.  Best Western ain’t the Taj Mahal, but typically it means some degree of quality, and process.  So, I think the Best Western cooperative approach probably benefited the Wi-Fi.

I tried it in the lobby.  I got right on, and there didn’t seem to be any interference from the help-your-self waffle irons, making Texas shaped, dimpled goodness just a few feet away.  Mental note: syrup, like wet paint is bad for the keyboard.  Then I walked up the stairs to the third floor, and covered that area.  My laptop was tuned to Internet radio station www.radioio.com, and because of the good Wi-Fi set up, I never ran out of tunes.

The Wi-Fi made me feel at home … no problems as I wrote blogs about The South Padre International Music Festival … but like I said, it was The Copa, not the Copa Cabana.  The service was a little unfriendly for my tastes, so I deducted a point — 5 pings.

Just a short walk north of the Copa was the Radison … or the hotel formerly known as The Radison.  I mean, it looked like a Radison. And the wench truck outside seemed to be working on a Radison sign …

I walked by the front desk and found a secluded corner in the back of the lobby — a perfect little “personal office” with juice for my computer (or “water for my horses” as Willie Nelson sang at the festival) and windows overlooking the pool.  But what about wireless?

“Hmmm … that’s strange.” A Wi-Fi hotspot pulled me in, but my connection manager didn’t say “Radison.”  The hotspot was called Isla Grand Resort.  I theorized it was one of the hotels or motels adjacent to this property, bleeding over.  Okay … then let’s review Isla Grand Resort Wi-Fi.  I am willing to make new friends.

Excellent. I got on and traded e-mails.  I twittered like there was no tomorrow, and I uploaded a few large photo files — was no problem.  If only there were some bronze bodies testing out the water a few feet away … But hey, it was the off season.

My curiosity got the best of me.  So, I closed up shop and walked to the in-house Starbucks kiosk.  A part-time high school girl, flashed braces, telling me the Wi-Fi network was called Isla Grand Resort, because the hotel is too.  Ha … Radison sold the property. This impressed me: even though the guys out front were taking down the Radison sign, get this … the Wi-Fi network was already hard at work — branding the new hotel, labeled with the new name.  Oh these savvy Web 2.0 marketers! Yet another use for Wi-Fi.

I walked to the front desk to confirm the change, and of course was sidetracked by the two parrots caged in the lobby.  Have you ever noticed these domesticated birds can always say, “Can he talk”?

“Can he blog?” Yeth he can!  The Radison … Isla Grand Resort … whatever … made it quick and easy.  I know why the caged bird sings … 6 pings.

Next up, I took a chance on a property that was unusual and intriguing.  The sign on the glass door stated the hotel was open for business and had vacancies.  But it looked like a retail property.  “Okay, I’ll play.”

I walked in and saw only an elevator, so I continue around to the other side and found a large, dark, open area … with retail storefront windows — kind of a little indoor mall, with not much going on.  One wall had a less than stellar blue mural painting of tropical fish.  And on the other side of the open space was a woman working at a desk. She was my welcome wagon … the reservations agent for the hotel.  I won’t lie, it was a bit weird.  But, I am not about appearances for the most part.  I chose to concentrate on Wi-Fi.  The lady told me that she was pretty sure it was provided in this “lobby.” “We’ll just see about that.”

She was right, this seemingly work-in-progess, the Suites At Sunchase had signal — no problem.  There was a funky little green splash page (which clashed with the aqua fish mural on the wall, I might add) powered by Meraki.  Hmmm … the meter on my machine said the signal was weak, but the speed was okay.  It was a pretty big lobby space, even if it wasn’t dressed to impress.

Okay … looks matter, a little.  I got online long enough to brag about it in this blog, then I bolted — 3 pings which could have been improved with a little attention to aesthetics.

All this being critical of others made me hungry.  I popped into a tiny place whose Wi-Fi sign had been “channeling” me to come hither for days — Yummies Bistro.

Talk about cutting it close.  After I ordered a nice little Tex-Mex shrimp sandwich thing (served open face with a cream sauce and sliced sausage) the hostess told me they were closing up for the day.  As I worked on the sandwich — which was pretty good, by the way — she did invite me to stay and use the Wi-Fi as long as I wanted out on the porch.  So how was it?  Well … once I got on, it rocked.  But getting there was half the battle.  My new friend brought to me a printed page with the required password (before I even asked for it) for the encrpyted network — at the same time when she brought silverware.  Very perceptive … or at least attentive.  Ha … only problem was … the code didn’t work.  Let’s say (for security’s sake) the code was SIEG-SOMETHING.  I typed it in and nothing doing.  I pictured my third-grade teacher and recited in her nasal voice “I before E, except after Y” no wait.  Crap!  What was it she used to say?  Anyway, I scrambled the letters hoping the code scribe had just been dyslexic.  No worky.  I tried it again, as printed.  No dice, twice.  Hmmm … I tried one last time, without the all-caps.  Voila! Either the person wanted to symbolize Internet “SHOUTING” with all caps, or maybe that was one last level of coded security … but regardless, they underestimated my ciphering prowess.  I broke through.

Tiny, cute sandwich shop with a bold Wi-Fi sign out front.  Nice sandwich and a nice server … and Seattle’s Best Coffee. Yummies Bistro — “get in my belly!”  Good stuff and great Wi-Fi, even if it plays hard to get — 6 pings.

If only there were a desert place nearby, advertising Wi-Fi! Ha … I walked about two doors down to Dolce Roma Italian Ice Cream & Espresso Bar.  With such a mouthful for a name, it’s a wonder they could find room on the wall to tout Wi-Fi, but they did.

The next sign I saw said “Only two samples” per customer.  I selected my internal “ignore that” button and sampled mango, coconut and some other island-like flavor.  Coconut won me over — would the Wi-Fi as well?

Dolce Wi-Fi was adequate … and the ice cream was good.  But the people were so indifferent.  I got the impression the woman behind the counter was the owner, or otherwise she probably would have been let go. Just not friendly … and guess what … no one else was there as I blogged for a while — 3 pings.

The next sign on my tour instructed me to finish my ice cream before I entered the t-shirt/souvenir store adjoining Dolce.  I complied.  And then I found the jewel of the island.  I looked in several retail places for a very specific souvenir. No one had it but this place. (I got so excited, I forgot to write down the name.) They had only one left, and I snatched it up faster than you could drip frozen coconut on a plastic sea shell chotsky on a hot island day.  It was a bright red t-shirt.  At the bottom in subtle black letters it said “Padre Island.”  Above that, in bold black it had the Double T logo of the Texas Tech Red Raiders, who have just whipped the Texas Longhorns.  Now that is an awesome souvenir.  It was only a few bucks, but frankly, that shirt was mine … no matter what!

Back on point …

Just a few doors further north were the most well know icons in the animal kingdom — those golden, double arches of Big Macdom.  Hmmm …. I have this Wayport account, but I really wasn’t in need of special sauce.  What the heck … Mickey D’s it is.  The assistant manager was leaning out the drive up window, chatting up some customer.  Later I learned, he wasn’t ignoring me.  It ‘s just his way.  He is a people person.  But … I had to buy something.  Ha … more ice cream.  There is a little chocolate sundae at “Donny’s” (as my kids called it) for about a buck.  I was tempted to ask for sample spoons, but just ordered one.  More frozen, sweet goodness.

What’s up with the Wi-Fi?  Before i got on, Mr. Congeniality came by.  Nice guy.  He said there was no question that Wi-Fi was bringing in more customers to his restaurant.  Contractors doing business, tourists, students … he explained.  “But,” he said, “They want it for free.”  Well … people want food for free too, but that doesn’t mean … I quipped.

Well … what the manager added in friendliness, the system lost in performance.  I tried several times to get on.  The cool, red McDonalds splash page popped up … eventually.  Then I chose the method of payment and entered the code and the screen froze.  I tried again … this time, not even a splash page.  What up?  I tried 3-4 times and was seeing “Network Time Out.”

I was about to say goodbye to Ronald McD & Co. when the system finally got its act together.  I did see my favorite, the “Hola” welcome — a nice little, warm/fuzzy diversity thing.  I experienced the same bilingual greeting in Chicago at McD … good thing I am fluent. Ha.

Finally … up and running.  The meter said the speed was fluctuating anywhere from 11 mbps to 36 mbps, so we weren’t breaking any land speed records … but I Twittered.  I FaceBooked.  I LinkedIn.  I even MySpaced — updating each one … lying … saying I was doing some exotic deep sea fishing rather than sitting in McDonald’s … just kidding.

Nice little ice cream for after ice cream, jovial manager … and adequate Wi-Fi, finally, after a few misfires — South Padre McDonalds — 3 pings.

But my most interesting stop on this three-hour tour (spread out over several days) was a little place called Sunset Cafe — “Internet Gourmet Coffee.”  Its sign caught my eye several times.  Finally, my bud WesterFunk and I parked on the matching love seat and couch, and fired up the Wi-Fi. I had a nice little cappucino too (which was excellent but kept me up part of the night, wide eyed … caffeine wimp …).  I was quite happy with the access point and worked for a while, even though WesterFunk packed his Dell and moved on after a coffee.  Ha … he missed the floor show.  At or near closing time, the coffee maidens were sweeping up and folding chairs and stuff, although I continued to blog.  Then my peaceful workplace got rocked by several loud, angry F-bombs.  And get this … I heard a phone slam down, and the owner stormed out of the kitchen, cussing, dropping more F-Bombs along the way.  I am going to give him the benefit of a doubt and assume he didn’t know I was there.  Surely he doesn’t do that in front of customers all the time.  But, by the look on the face of the employee nearby, she seemed to be pretty much accustomed to the meltdown.

So, Sunset Cafe had a good thing going — good Wi-Fi … I met a musician from Twanguero there from the festival, radomly … the couches were flanked by cool, hippie chairs and the caffeine was potent … but all of this was blown away by the F-Meister.  Well played — NOT! — 2 pings.

Last thought.  This sleepy little island with its great beaches and reputation for Spring Break mayhem owes me a set of cheap sunglasses, but it certainly has embraced Wi-Fi — as a service for customers and as a marketing tool.  Nice work.  Oh, and last shout out to and a strong recommendation for South Padre International Music Festival — an overall score for Padre — 6 pings.

Know what I sayin?